


I remember what we were

by supercali



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, make up fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-20 16:05:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11924406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercali/pseuds/supercali
Summary: When Aaron gets back from Dublin, Robert's nowhere to be found.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another response to a prompt. This one asked for Robert having left the village after Aaron went to Dublin. I made his stay there a bit longer than on the show so it could work better. No scheming Robert in this ;)

Aaron’s getting coffee, ready to face his first full day back in the village, when he sees her come into the cafe, as perky and smiling as usual, until she sees him. As soon as she spies him she turns to leave.

“Vic, wait a sec. Cheers Bob.” He grabs the cup, frowning at the odd look the man gives him. It’s been the same everywhere since he got back, the same almost judging look and it’s starting to get on his nerves. “Vic!”

“I’m in a bit of a hurry, Aaron. Can it wait?”

“No. What’s going on, Vic? Everyone’s giving me weird looks and you can barely look at me. Is it about Adam? I thought the two of you were...” He’d had enough phone calls from him while he’d been away, complaining that she wouldn’t give him the time of day, but he thought they were good now.

“It’s not Adam. You don’t know, do you?”

“Know what? I only got back yesterday, Vic. Barely got myself unpacked let alone caught up on gossip!” He’s frowning. He’s seen plenty of people and nobody’s been eager to share any gossip, which now he comes to think of it is unusual for the village.

“I asked Chas to tell you. Maybe you should talk to her. I have to go Aaron.”

“I thought you were my friend?”

“I am but...look talk to your Mum. There’s my bus.” With that she’s gone, hurrying up the road as the bus draws to a stop. He just stands there, trying to work out what she might have told his Mum that she wouldn’t tell him. There was really only one thing, or rather one person it could be about.

Robert.

He’d spent 3 months in Dublin, way longer than he expected but his Mum couldn’t stay forever and Liv didn’t want to leave Sandra with a stranger looking after her so he’d offered. At first it had been good, spending time with his sister, not having to worry about everything happening in the village, not having to endure awkward conversations with Robert and most importantly at that point in time, he didn’t have to see Rebecca around.

He’d felt bad for staying away so long, but he knew it had been good for him. He’d texted Robert, telling him he was staying away longer than expected. He felt he owed him that and he’d got a short message in return. It wasn’t the pleading that he’d expected and part of him was glad because he knew it wouldn’t have taken much to get past the walls he’d built up.

Chas had returned about a month ago and it wasn’t until a couple of weeks after that he really began to miss the village. He was feeling stronger, more ready to cope with Robert, with everything that was going on. So he’d come home, letting Liv have a few days alone with a recovered Sandra before she joined him.

It was early but he knew his Mum would be up and he still had his key to the pub. Letting himself in he smiled, he could hear her singing along to the radio. He stood there for a good couple of minutes before she noticed him, just silently laughing at her attempts at dancing round the kitchen.

“Mum? Mum!” He called, remembering the reason he was here in the first place. He’d seen her when he first got back but not since. He was still annoyed that she’d not told him what had happened, had stopped Robert from telling him.

“Aaron, love. Bit early for you, isn’t it?”

“Was going up to the scrapyard to get things started again. Bumped into Vic. Anything you want to tell me?”

“I don’t know what you mean, love.”

“Mum, let’s not. Vic said she’d told you something to pass on to me. Now unless it was the fascinating story about Charity and the drayman you haven’t told me anything. So what is it?” He pulled out one of the chairs, slumping down into it. “It’s about Robert, isn’t it? What’s he done?”

“He’s gone. He left just before I came back.” He looks up sharply, seeing her looking straight back at him, her face torn between sympathetic and triumphant that she’d been proved right all along.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“No, because you would have come running back to go after him.” He ignores her, it’s exactly what he knew she’d say. All the time in Dublin he’d heard how much better off he was, that she’d known Robert would hurt him in the end. He’d been almost relieved when she’d come back to Emmerdale.

“Why did he leave?”

“How should I know? Realised that no one wanted him here most likely. You know Robert, never one to face the music.” Aaron took a deep breath, he could feel his temper rising because he knew that Robert wasn’t like that, not anymore. He’d been right when he told him that it was something that he’d told Aaron about Rebecca and he didn’t have to. He got up from the table, couldn’t be here with her anymore. “Where are you going?”

“To find my husband.”

“Aaron, no! You’re better off without him.”

“You know what, I thought I was, thought you were right. But you’re not. My going away was never about wanting Robert out of my life for good, it was about me sorting out my head, and now he’s gone.”

“I did what I thought was best.” She tries to take her hand but he pulls it away and gets up from the table.

“If you were doing that, you’d let me make my own decisions. I’d better find him, Mum, otherwise I don’t know if I can forgive you.”

*****

The first thing he does is try to call Robert, hardly surprised when all he gets is voicemail. He leaves a message asking him to call him but he doesn’t expect a reply. He left the village, it’s pretty clear he doesn’t want to see him. He spends most of the afternoon in the scrap yard portacabin trying to work out what to do. As he’s heading home he catches Victoria as she gets off the bus.

“Aaron, not now, I’m tired.”

“Yes, Vic, now. Where is he?”

“He didn’t tell me, doesn’t want anyone to know. He answers my text, calls me when he feels like it but that’s all.” She told him tiredly as she unlocked her front door. Aaron followed her inside, not intending to leave without some answers.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Vic? Just help me understand why he’s gone.”

“You don’t get it, do you. He was a mess when you left. I understand why you went, so did he but then you stayed and all he got was a text?” He regrets that now, he should have made the effort to at least call however hard it would have been. His only excuse was that he wasn’t thinking straight back then, couldn’t focus on anything, couldn’t worry about anyone but himself.

“I can’t change that but I’m here now. Will you call him, ask him where he is. For me.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? He won’t tell me, Aaron. Probably because he knows I’d end up telling you.” She gives him a hug which usually makes him smile because it’s impossible not to in the face of a happy Vic, but this is different and he feels bad that because of him she’s possibly lost her brother again. “Go home, and I’ll try once more. Just don’t get your hopes up, yeah?”

*****

It’s a good few days before he hears from her again and he’s sure she’s avoiding him. Then again he’s been swerving the pub and his Mum because he’d had one too many lectures the times he had gone in. He’s been busy enough with getting the scrapyard back into shape that he’s exhausted at the end of the day and he’s done nothing but fall into bed and sleep, more often than not dreaming about Robert.

The thing is, if he finds him, what does he say to him. His head might be clearer, he might have had space to sort himself out but he doesn’t have any idea how he’s going to cope now he’s back. He hasn’t seen Rebecca, or any of the Whites so far but she won’t stay away forever. Can he deal with seeing her, pregnant with Robert’s son, can he deal with seeing them together. He couldn’t, not when he knew Robert was lying about how he felt, but if it’s different, if he’s honest, if they both are, can he do it? It’s not fair to even see Robert if he can’t, but he misses him.

He tried convincing himself for weeks that he didn’t, that it was better like this, but he misses the casual touches between them, the soft smiles when one catches the other staring. He misses the lazy mornings in bed, misses how Robert will sit up reading too late and complain the next morning. He misses taking him his morning coffee. He misses everything.

He has to do something, sort himself out because Liv is back at the weekend and the place is a mess. He has to tell her Robert isn’t here and he knows that no matter how much she said she hated him, the two of them were close and it’s just another person that she doesn’t have anymore.

He’s about to drag himself upstairs to shower when there’s a knock on the door. Grimacing as he looks around the place he hurries to answer it. It’s Victoria.

“I think I’ve found him.”

*****

It was obvious really, she told him, once she’d thought about it. There weren’t many places he could go in all honesty. She’d warned him to be sure before he left and he’d heard the unspoken words, she would hurt him somehow if he didn’t get this right. He knew she was more than capable.

He didn’t tell anyone else he was leaving, except for Liv, promising he’d be back before she got home. He hadn’t told her why or where he was going, didn’t want to get her hopes up. He might be going all that way for nothing.

He’s twitchy on the plane, doesn’t like flying that much to begin with, and he’s nervous. It gets him a few odd looks and he’s never been more glad when the plane lands and he can leave his seat. It’s not until he’s on the road, trying to read the helpfully provided map, Victoria’s instructions and look at the road, that he starts to worry that this isn’t going to work, that he’s making a mistake. Still too late now, he thinks, as he turns into the right road, lined with villas. After a quick check in the mirror he gets out and walks up to the door and knocks before he can change his mind.

He knows he’s in the right place, recognises the woman in front of him from photographs he’s seen in Victoria’s front room. He’s heard stories about her from Robert and he’s suddenly nervous that she’s going to send him away with a flea in his ear. She looks perfectly capable of it, despite her advancing years.

_“What do you mean, you think you’ve found him?” He demands, hands on hips, watching as Victoria scribbles down an address and directions._

_“He didn’t tell me, but I heard her in the background. I’d know that voice anywhere.”_

“I...I’m looking for Robert. Victoria gave me the address, said she thought he might be here.”

“You’ll be Aaron then. He’s not here I’m afraid.” His face drops, the wasted journey weighing on him, the thought of being back to square one. “He’s gone for a walk along the beach. You better come in and wait I suppose.” She says looking him up and down.

As she potters about making him a cup of tea he ponders that there were probably better ways to meet his husband’s grandmother.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was meant to be the last part but no, one more left...I think!

He doesn’t know what to say to her so he just sips his tea and hopes that Robert won’t be much longer. Robert never mentioned her much, except in passing or when he and Vic would tell stories, so Aaron doesn’t know much, but he knows she helped bring him up, before his Dad had met Sarah. He should have asked more, shown more interest. You can’t avoid his family, they’re everywhere even when you don’t want them, but Robert doesn’t have that anymore, he’s not sure if he ever has.

“You said Victoria told you he was here.”

“Oh, well, she said,” He coughs, “she said she heard you in the background.”

“Always was too clever for her own good that one. Well lad, I don’t know what kind of reception you’ll get. Robert’s always been stubborn.” Aaron snorts quietly. “Still from what he’s told me you’re a good lad.”

He feels strangely chastened by that, he doesn’t feel like he is. He knows Robert has done wrong but it wasn’t all one sided, not all of it. He just hopes he gives him chance to explain.

“How is he? I guess you know what’s happened.”

“He has. I don’t know how he gets himself into these messes, I don’t. Still sounds like both of you do.” He looks down, ashamed. “Oh you aren’t the first couple to get themselves into bother, I doubt you’ll be the last. It’s how you fix it that matters.”

“I hope so. Any advice?”

“You know him better than me, but maybe let him talk first, there are probably things he wants to tell you.” He frowns but she’s not forthcoming with anything else. She gets up from the table, patting him on the shoulder. “That sounds like him, I’ll leave you to it.”

He swallows, mouth suddenly dry. He’s nervous and his head is spinning as he waits. He hears her greet her grandson, telling him she was going for a lie down and there was tea in the pot. She doesn’t warn him that there’s someone waiting and Robert stops dead when he gets to the kitchen. It gives Aaron time to take him in. He looks good in so much as he’s tanned, but that’s as far as it goes. There are dark smudges under his eyes and his eyes have lost the spark that they always seemed to have.

“Hi.”

“You’re back then.” Robert throws his keys down on the table and turns to pour himself a mug of tea, avoiding looking at Aaron.

“Yeah.”

“Surprised to find me gone? That I wasn’t waiting on the doorstep for you?” He drops the spoon on the counter with a clatter that echoes round the large kitchen. “What are you doing here, Aaron?”

“I...No one knew where you were. I was worried.” Robert scoffs and Aaron doesn’t know what else to say. The man in front of him isn’t the same man he left. He was upset, devastated, but now it’s like he’s given up.

“Well you know now, you can go back and tell everyone that you found me.” 

“Robert…”

“What’s the matter Aaron? Annoyed, now I’m not begging you for another chance? You made it pretty clear that wasn’t going to happen and you staying away for months certainly rammed the point home.” He pulls a chair out from the table letting it scrape across the floor before slumping into it.

“Liv needed me and...I needed to be away from the village. It wasn’t meant to be for that long.”

“Well now I need time away.”

“Something’s happened. Come on Robert, I know you, you don’t back away, not like this. I’m not expecting you to be waiting for me or any of that, but I didn’t stop caring just because we’re not…”

“It was all for nothing.” He looks close to tears and Aaron wants to go to him but he knows he can’t. “Everything’s ruined, over nothing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Apparently the baby can’t be mine because nothing happened. So, there you go, I ruined us for nothing. Apparently it’s quite fun to screw over other people’s lives when you’re a White.” Aaron can’t help it, he reaches out a hand, places it on Robert’s back, only for him to shift away. “Don’t, Aaron. You should go.”

“I’m not leaving you like this. How did you even find out?”

“Heard her talking to Chrissie. She took great delight in confessing everything when I confronted her though. Suppose I deserve it really.”

“Don't say that. You don't deserve anything like that.”

“I still...I might not have slept with her in the end but I still...I still hurt you, still wanted to hurt you...and everything after. You should go and forget about me. I just cause you trouble.”

“And I give you an easy life, do I?” He turns to look at him, can’t bear seeing him this way. “You wanted him, didn’t you? The baby?” Robert nodded not meeting his eyes. “It’s alright, I knew you would, that was half the problem, I knew you were hiding it, for me and if you had kept on doing that in the end you would have resented me.”

“Doesn’t matter now does it? Why did you really come here?”

“I told you I was worried. I was right to be, wasn’t I? Why haven’t you told Vic, or anyone?”

“I was embarrassed! No doubt some would've thought it karma. Couldn't face it.”

“Were you ever going to come back?”

“Doesn’t seem to be much point. We’re over, no doubt Liv hates me, and my family managed without me before.” He finishes his tea and gets to his feet. “Like I say, you should leave.”

“Stop pushing me away!”

“Oh sorry, I forgot that’s your job isn’t it? Don’t say you’re not pleased that the baby isn’t mine!”

“I’m allowed to be pleased that you didn’t sleep with someone else Robert. But no I’m not pleased about the baby, not like that. Do you really think I would be, over something that’s upset you?” Robert doesn’t say anything, they just sit looking at each other, the noise of children playing outside reaching their ears. 

“I don’t know what to think about anything Aaron, but I can’t go back there. Not yet anyway.”

“So...where does that leave us?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter to finish :)

“Nothing’s changed, Aaron. You said it yourself, we’re not good for each other.”

“I also said we’re not good when we’re apart.” He reaches to take Robert’s finger lingering on the ring he put there that day in the hospital. “You’re still wearing this, even after I stayed away for months, after I gave you mine back. That has to mean something.” 

“I don’t know. Going back there, everyone knowing what an idiot I am.”

“To be fair, everyone’s always thought that.” Robert snorts, letting out a laugh. “Look, this isn’t your fault. All you did was get drunk. She did the rest.”

“So we what...just go back to normal? Pretend it never happened?” Robert switches his gaze back to the horizon in front of him. 

“That’s probably not the best idea, but we can be us and find a new normal. I missed you, no matter how hard I tried not to. I don’t want to give us up.” 

“Neither do I, but…”

“No buts. Come home with me and we’ll go from there.” Aaron risks moving closer, hands on either side of Robert’s face. “I love you, I never stopped.” Robert doesn’t say anything but finally there's a smile on his face.

“Can we just...can you stay, a couple of days and we can talk. Gran will love having you here, loves someone to fuss over.”

“Liv’s home day after tomorrow so…” Robert’s face drops and Aaron takes hold of his hand again. “My flight back is tomorrow night. Until then I’m all yours.”

“I bet she hates me too.”

Aaron thinks back to all the late night conversations with his sister and some of the things she’d said, but he can’t tell Robert all of that, not now. “She’s..she’ll come round, once she knows everything. It’ll be alright, eventually.”

They don’t say anything else, Aaron moves to sit beside Robert and they sit in the sunshine together until Annie comes back down and insists on making them lunch before shooing them out from under her feet. They find themselves walking along the beach and he can tell Robert’s surprised when he takes hold of his hand and doesn’t let go.

The next afternoon he goes with Aaron to the airport, waits until he boards his flight. “I’ll talk to Liv, make sure she knows everything, and Vic. No one else matters, you know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I will come back...just, let me get myself together a bit more first.” Aaron nods, he can hardly begrudge him time, he’s had three months to get to where he is now. “Call me, when you land.”

“Course, as long as you answer your phone.”

“Yeah, alright. Go on, or you’ll miss the plane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm @nooneelsecomesclose17 on tumblr. Come by and pay me a visit :)


End file.
